The Big Question of 2012

What?! No blog post today? Well this may come as surprise but this IS a blog post. This right here, the thing that you are reading. (And the fact that I had to point that out to you is ridiculous.)

I'm am sitting in my van, windows down, enjoying a gorgeous spring morning while Grayson naps in his car seat, thinking about tomorrow. (I'm thinking about tomorrow, not Grayson. Well he might be too, but honestly how would I know?) (I'm waiting on my mom tiger* out of physical therapy. Sitting in cars for no apparent reason is not something I typically do.) (Unless an awesome song comes on just as I'm exiting. But then I would be sitting listening to music and that would be a reason.) Okay, back to the matter at hand...

Tomorrow is a big day. That may be a vast overstatement. It depends on what scale you're using to decide if a day is "big". On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being your wedding day and/or birth of your child, and 1 being a normal day at home doing nothing then tomorrow rates somewhere around 1.5 MAYBE 2. (It all depends on the turn of events.)

I apologize for the suspense, I know you're dying to know what is occurring tomorrow.

So i will just tell you. I am going to an optometrist for an eye exam! Dun...dun...duuuunnnnn... I know, I couldn't believe it myself.

When I had my physical done last week, they did the normal vision test. You know, the typical big E at the top followed by rows of letters that become smaller the further down you go. It had been probably 12 years or more since my last test, and I remembered how I use to rock that thing reading all the way to the bottom with my eagle eyes. When they asked me to start reading off the letters out loud I almost laughed out loud. Some mischievous nurse had replaced the chart with something else. At first I was concerned that they were really mean nurses and possibly had something wrong with them. But then I decided that they were just trying to be entertaining and were probably normal and maybe really nice. Then finally I realized they weren't playing a trick on me, I just literally couldn't see sh*t.

All I could do was laugh nervously and awkwardly and talk about how it used to be so clear and "Now, haha, it's so fuzzy! Haha...".

I was able to read the E, duh, had to work on the first line, REALLY work on the third and then just guessed for the remaining letters. "Um, it's either an E, an R, a B, or a Koala eating a potato."

Eye charts don't have pictures of koalas eating potatoes.

I knew I was in trouble. And that my days of braggable vision and smug "no I have perfect eyes" when asked if I wore glasses or contacts were most likely over. My fears were confirmed when the doc came in and as he came across the results let out a surprised, "Oh! Wow it looks like we'll be referring you to an eye doctor.". I told him that it was a relieving to know that they wouldn't randomly put a drawing of a koala eating a potato in the middle of an eye chart. He gave me a brief blank stare and then continued with my exam.

To be honest I'm a little nervous. Mostly because I remember them making me look at a little red light and then blowing acidic gas (or possibly just air) into my eyes, startling me and causing me to fear little red lights for the rest my life. And also because I don't want to wear glasses. I want I be able to brag and be smug. Glasses aren't a good look for me. Also I have a big head and they tend to squeeze my head and give me headaches. And I already have headaches all the time. My mother insists they will fit the glasses to my head but that sounds a little sketchy to me. (I don't really find that to be sketchy I just don't want glasses.) She also said that the reason I probably get headaches is because I need glasses. I don't understand her logic.

I'm holding out hope that they will tell me that I'm just getting old and having normal age related vision loss and that there's nothing they can do except give me a magnifying glass and tell me to hope for the best.

I suppose we shall see.

I will be sure to update everyone on the state off my vision as well as the big question of 2012, "Will Brianne have to wear glasses? Or no?".

*My mom is not a tiger, that was my phone toying with autocorrect. But I thought it was funny and would be cool if you thought my mom was a tiger until the end of this post.

Also, I'm typing this entire post with my thumbs on my phone so I apologize for any typos.