I suppose it is rather fitting for a blog post listing the ways your day was completely weird and f*cked to disappear in the blink of an eye.
A wonderfully written, long, SO long, blog post. Gone in the blink of an eye because some shotty ass app. Lesson learned. I'm now typing my post in my iPhone notes (where this shit is AUTOSAVED) before using the app to publish with a simple copy & paste. (Coincidentally it was a copy & paste situation that f*cked my entire post.) Seriously though, what blog app wouldn't have an autosave feature?! I mean honestly! I think what pisses me off the most is that I have no one to blame or be pissed off at but myself. That always sucks.
So, let us start over. From the beginning. Although I'm going to go ahead and let you know that I will be splitting what was a very, very long post into two.
Today you get Part I...
Yesterday was Friday the 13th. Frankly, that day doesn't conjur much within me. It's just a date. A date that just so happens to be a day where my favorite number lands on a Friday. (Whoop-whoop!) (😒 giving myself side-eye for whoop-whooping myself over a day that's not even a holiday...)
I'm not a superstitious person. I don't believe that the series of events that took place yesterday happened because it was an "unlucky" day. (After all they weren't all unlucky things, they were just...well to be perfectly honest, weird.) But I have to admit, after the day I had I am, in the words of the great Michael Scott, "...a little stitious...".
I honestly had one of the strangest days I can remember. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't some barrage of unfortunate and bazaar events that could one day be published as a novel and then made into a feature film, but eh, it was enough for blog post because it was too much for a Facebook post... It was just a day, where several pretty weird, and kinda shitty things just so happened to occur all within a 24 hour period. (27 hours if you count the f*ckery that lost my amazing post.) Edited to add: It's now consumed 29 hours of my life, with yet another THING that I will now add to the tail end of this list. (The tail end that will be posted tomorrow.)
So here's the thing, rather than spin a tale full of suspense and dark twists and turns I'm simply going to list the weird things that happened to me today. (If you were paying attention you would have caught that a paragraph back. Sorry for the spoiler amigos.) I decided to go with the list format because mostly because there wasn't suspense. Nor were there dark and twisties lying in wait. I did, however, experience very suspensious* feelings. (But I don't think they would cross over well in written form.) And also, I'm just a listy type of person. I like lists. I do!
1• Let me start off by saying, in the 8 years I've been married, and the 10+ years I've spent with my husband, that said husband doesn't get sick. Ever. Only once, one single, solitary time have I seen the love of my life ill, and that was many, many years ago. He has been blessed with an iron stomach that can handle just about anything you throw into it, sinus cavities that appear to never clog or congest, an upper respiratory system that is ALSO a congestion free zone, and never sees infection, or fluid, or phlegm, he has the immune system of, well, someone with an INSANELY awesome immune system.
To be honest, I knew he was sick the second I got home Thursday night around 9p. He was already in bed asleep, which is just atypical of him. He said he was "just tired", but I knew...oh yes I knew. Within hours he was freezing cold. The man who I've only ever seen complain of the cold ONCE (when we were ignorant enough to try and enjoy a Carolina Panthers football game in the dead of winter, with an unusually low NC temp of 14 degrees) was freezing. I know, mind=blown right?
I don't mean a little chilly, or give-me-an-extra-blanket cold, I'm talking teeth chattering, muscle spasm inducing, shivering out of his skin freezing. He was so cold that for the first time since I've known the man he actually put on pajamas to sleep in! Grayson couldn't stop snickering over the fact that his dad was wearing clothes to bed. He's always been a sleep-in-boxers-only kind of guy. I was convinced that he HAD to have a fever, but he disagreed. After literally forcing a thermometer into his mouth I was genuinely surprised that he didn't have a fever what-so-ever. He won that round.
30 minutes after Mel finally caved and took some ibuprofen for the headache and the aches and pains that were a result of his violent shivering it was my round to win, and he was burning up. (I didn't feel good about winning just so you know. I didn't dare gloat! I mean, obviously I felt bad. He's my husband and I really like him, he's not just hot with fever you know, and he was so miserable. It legitimately made me sad. But of course I air high fived myself because I still had it. The instinctual mommeter. Predicting fevers and illnesses like a pro.) Anyway, this bitch hit so intensely, and so suddenly, that he literally couldn't get his pajamas off quickly enough! Sure enough his temp had gone up to 100.2. Look, I know that's considered a "low grade fever", but our thermometer states that an oral temperature of 99.6 or above is considered a fever.
This is a man who can probably name on one hand how many fevers he's had in his lifetime, whose temperature was 97.7 less than an hour before, and who had coincidentally taken a fever reducer 30 minutes prior to burning up. It may as well have been 105! (You don't have to say it, I'm the mom of 4. Mommeter remember?! I know that fevers are good, and we should let them do their job as safely as possible.)
By the time his alarm was going off for work he had sweat his fever out, completely soaking the bed sheets on his side of the bed in the process. Miraculously he woke up feeling absolutely fine. Miracukously he got up and went to work as though nothing had even happened! It was miraculous! Im going to level with you, had I been in that same situation I would be straight up toe tag dead! Or in the very least, curled up into the fetal position praying for death to come. But miraculously he was absolutely fine less than 6 hours after the whole thing started.
That the weird thing. It was just odd. Very, very odd. SO odd! A man, who is RARELY ever cold, let alone "freezing", is not only woken but kept awake by violent shivering that accompanied the worst chills he'd ever experienced. He exhibited no other symptoms aside from a slight headache, muscle cramps and aches brought on by the shivering, and the fever. Then, miraculously, he goes to work in the morning feeling great. I mean, that's WEIRD!
2• It's been roughly 52 hours (at the time I am writing this) since I've slept. I didn't sleep a wink last night, nor the night before. Please know, that when I say "I didn't sleep", I mean very literally, I did not sleep. I don't mean that I tossed and turned throughout the night, or suffered from unrestful sleep. I don't mean I slept for an hour here and an hour there and had a night of awful broken sleep. Nor do I mean that I only slept for a very short time. What I ACTUALLY mean is that in more than 48 hours now I have not shut my eyes for an extended period of time and slept.
And I'm so tired. In fact, "tired" doesn't even begin to define what I am. What I feel. Add black circles under the eyes and this is what my soul feels like right now:
As a chronic insomnia sufferer this isn't weird. It is terrifying. These are the first full nights I've gone without sleep since November. In November I went nearly 5 days without any sleep and experienced an all out psychosis brought in by sleep deprivation. When I finally slept after those 4+ days it was as though I had pressed a reset button and the chronic, and horrific, insomnia I had suffered over the last 4.5 years improved GREATLY.
Since November I've been so terrified of my insomnia returning that it's quite nearly become a full blown phobia. There is a term for the fear of sleep, somniphobia. But there is not a term for the fear of NOT sleeping. At least not anything I can find in the world wide webs. (Although that's more than likely mostly due to my impatience, and refusal to look beyond the first page of google results.)
While the insomnia may not be an entirely "weird" thing for me, it is in a sense because it's suddenly popped up again after nearly 6 months of marked improvement. Also, I haven't slept in DAYS, so of course I feel weird af.
3• Brace yourselves, because this weird one has me on the brink of irrational anger. Just forewarning you, this particular description is completely littered with "colorful" language. Actually it's just foul. Foul language. So skip on through if you want to. I really don't give two shiitake mushrooms. (Haha you thought that I was going to say shit, and now I HAVE.)
In the last 4.5 months we have had two of our mailboxes ruined. With the first incident it was pretty much cut and dry as it was blaringly obvious to what had occurred. A vehicle hit our mailbox. You could see where the paint had come off onto the mailbox. The newspaper tube, and post were not damaged and it was easily replaceable.
Be that as it may, yesterday our mailbox was completely destroyed. The mailbox, the base that the mailbox sits on to be attached to the post, the newspaper tube, and the post, are all ruined beyond a simple replacement or repair.
The mailbox itself, as well as that newspaper tube, were not only ripped completely off the post and smashed, but they somehow came to rest in our front yard, across the road, and several yards from our actual mailbox post.
How I see it, there are three possibilities here. And all three possibilities are the product of complete and utter dickery**.
Possibility #1: Some asshole kid, or even perhaps an asshole adult, purposely f*cked our mailbox up and damaged our property for no other reason than pure unadulterated dickery. Possibly with their vehicle. Maybe. Then the f*ckers threw it in our yard. Because that's what dickery assholes do. They f*ck your shit up and then throw it in your yard which is the same as throwing it metaphorically in your face.
Possibility #2: Some mother f*cker accidentally hit our mailbox with their vehicle, destroying it, and then pulled over, got their ass out of the car and set the mailbox in our yard. Perhaps removing it from the road to prevent other motorists from hitting it. Which may seem like a less dickery move, but still pretty dickery. (I will explain how after I share the third possibility.)
Possibility #3: The final possibility is much like the second, except for the fact that instead of getting out and throwing it into our yard, it was hit in such a weird ass way that it was actually somehow propelled into our yard, causing it to land at it's final, jacked up resting place.
I honestly hope that whoever did it, in whatever way, royally f*cked up whatever it was that they used. Be it their motor vehicle, or something else.
And here's why.
Damaging or destroying someone else's property, is obviously a dick move. That's a given. But, if it is done by accident, pull over, leave a note with your information and OFFER TO REPLACE IT. That's the right thing to do.
Not too long ago I actually hit a mailbox with my sideview mirror. It was a tough little S.O.B. though and was not damaged. However, my mirror was completely shattered and fell out. I was lucky I didn't lose the entire sticky-outer part, but only the mirror itself IN the sticky-outer part. Had I damaged their property I would have stopped, checked to see if they were home, and in the event that they were not, I would leave a note. Either on their door, or in their mailbox, with my name and contact information, an apology, and an offer to repair or replace what I had damaged.
In neither cases did anyone find it necessary to leave any sort of note or information, nor did they attempt to see if we were home.
Seeing as how the mailbox was intact when Mel (miraculously if you remember) left and made his way to work in the morning, I'm guessing that it was an accident. Otherwise, it was done by one ballsy dick.
I kind of love this. This would f*ck someone's car UP and deliver "a message". (Pun totally intended.) What that message is, would completely be made up in their head, but hopefully it would be something along the lines of, "Leave my shit alone, or I will shoot you.". Also, the message could also be a letter I mailed. To someone.
Moral of the story? Leave a note kids! Always leave a damn note. Gah!
You honestly don't know how angry this makes me. I am angered by this! Angered! So horribly angered! Perhaps actually writing this out has pushed me over the brink into bona fide irrational anger! Perhaps I'm projecting my anger over another situation into this situation and overreacting! Perhaps I'm not! Perhaps I don't know at this point!
Now you may be asking yourself, "Uhhhh what's so weird about this?". If the most obvious reason wasn't enough for you, which is the possibility of it propelling in such a weird ass way that it landed across the road, several yards away, I have another weird thing tied into this whole debacle! For whatever reason our dog, Mason, would not stop going apeshit over the damn mailbox being in our front yard! He literally barked for a good 20-30 minutes. (Which is a shit ton of consecutive barking!) I'm not sure if he was trying to warn us of the dickery events being played out on our property, or if perhaps he was just unhappy with the mailbox crossing the road and entering our yard. Hell, maybe he was trying to warn us of a mangled, tangled, misshapen and scary black object encroaching on our property. Either way, he wasn't having it. The second he would stop barking he'd look out the window and see it and start all over again, I believe he truly felt he was doing a service to our family and protecting us. You could see it in his eyes. His eyes said, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Do you see it?! Do you see it mom?! I'm warning you mom! Mom! I'm being a good boy and protecting my family mom! Do you hear me? Mom! Do you hear me protecting you mom?!".
Please join me tomorrow as I look forward to continuing with my list of strange-as-shit happenings that occurred Friday the 13th, May 2K16 and had the audacity to carry over into the following day. Which is TOday.
Here is a sneak peek into what tomorrow's post shall regale.
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