I feel like I am stuck.
I look at 10 year olds with cell phones and tell myself, "Psh, yea my kid will have a cell phone when he can PAY for one himself!!!"
Or I will see an 8 year old with a laptop and think, "Really?! You're 8 years old! I'm 25 and just got my first laptop a year ago!!!"
I sit on the fence of thinking that kids are overly-spoiled, yet I find myself WANTING to provide these indulgences for my children.
Why?
Well, because, don't we ALL want our children to have what we couldn't? I grew up poor. Like, really poor. I was lucky enough to never go without needs because of the love of churches, and some family, but I definitely knew what it was like to go without wants. During those times I wasn't thinking, "When I grow up I hope my children will go without so that can learn to appreciate things they are given."
Heck no! I was thinking, "When I have kids I will give them all that I can because I know how bad it hurts to see your friends have cool things that you will never have."
So yea, I'm on the fence.
What brings this up is the fact that Joshua just turned 8 and got an iPod for his birthday. Just a regular iPod, nothing to fancy schmancy, just something he can play music on, ya know? I remember seeing a kid at the mall not too long ago with an ipod touch and thinking, "REALLY?! What kind of parents get their kids an ipod touch?!"
I wasn't thinking this because there is anything WRONG with a child owning an iPod touch, I was thinking this because I was jealous that I could never afford an ipod touch for my kids or for myself for that matter.
I've noticed, when you are judging someone, are secretly judging yourself? When you find yourself having not-so-nice thoughts of others, what is fueling it? Jealousy? Pride?
I wonder how many people will see my son with an ipod and what will they be thinking? How many comments will I get?
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3 comments:
i believe that it is important that no matter what age you decide to give any of these items to your children, that they are taught the responsibilities of having them. if they can not show that they are responsible, then they can be easily taken away.
my two oldest received laptops from us for christmas two years ago (the younger of the two was 9 at the time) then last year, my oldest three received ipod touches last christmas (the youngest being 7). they do not have phones, but the two oldest want them and will probably get them for christmas and the youngest of the older three wants a laptop now.
however, my two youngest girls are only 4 and 5 and i wouldn't trust them to be responsible for a stick. nor do i see them getting one any time in the next several years. they are very different from their siblings. in fact, i see their little brother getting something before them. they are so very hardheaded and unwilling to listen and learn.
it truly is all about us handling our own responsibilities as parents of teaching our children how to be responsible themselves.
do what you want to do and if you feel your child is ready, then by all means give them what they want if you can afford to.
Great post. I don't think I really have enough "life experience" to accurately comment on this, but I did do a "what age is appropriate for the first cell phone?" post a while back when my 10-year-old cousin got one for Christmas.
As far as cell phones, I think that age is unique to the kid and situation. If it's a situation where the kid spends a bulk time away from home or maybe not necessarily under supervision 100% of the time (extracurricular activities or walking a longer home from school alone), then in today's world, it might be safer for the kid to have a cell phone in case of emergency. However, the camera phone with the internet and texting plan? I don't think so... Alright, I might just be a wee bit biased since my cousin who already annoys me, now has the ability to do so at any time day or night no matter how far I run from her... :p
But also, there's the social aspect. Those of us over 16 whose fingers are glued to the keys are different. We, for the most part, grew up without that, and therefore had time to develop at least some social skills before texting and AIM started to replace actual speaking with shrt, choppy, misspelled sentencez. If all a kid does is text, then the beauty (um.. maybe "beauty is occasionally too generous a word :p) of conversation will be lost.
As far as ipods, eh, I don't think a simple music playing device is over the top, after all I remember having a walk-man and then a disc-man when those were still "cool". An iPod touch though, yeah, I think that's reaching quite a bit... And I don't think it's because I'm jealous, because I've quite honestly never felt the need to have one.
I do find validity in that question of yours though -- about, when judging, are we doing it out of jealousy? That's where I personally straddle the fence, I think. Sometimes, sure, I'll admit I've been a little envious of something a friend or even a passerby has that I don't or can't, and may have made a comment about how "unnecessary" it is, while secretly searching Amazon for said item when I got home. But then on the other hand, there are just people I can't stand, and there's nothing about them that I like or envy, so it can't always be about jealousy, right? Although it never stops people from suggesting I'm jealous, lol.
Sorry this is so long... and probably a big jumble of nonsense.. When I leave long comments I tend to get lost in them, and they cease to make sense, lol. My point is I pretty much agree with you, haha, but that every situation is unique (unless it involves an iPod touch, lol :p).
My son is 15, and we got him a cell phone for his birthday. Mainly because we don't have a home phone and I'll be damned if he's going to use my phone all the time. I think there's a fine line. I wouldn't go younger than 15 unless the kid was really active and hardly ever home and needed to have you within reach.
About the iPod? I'd be afraid my kids would break it. Those things are expensive. My son's phone is also an MP3 so we just got him a big memory card and said have at it. The middle son has an MP3. I have an iPod but I didn't buy it. I'm anti Apple tho.
This comment is going nowhere fast, huh?
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