How I Failed at Halloween

I used to think you could only fail at things like math quizzes, and diabetes test. I was wrong. And here is a perfectly good example at how wrong I was. Apparently you can fail at many things. One of which being, holidays. Somehow, I'm not sure how, but somehow this post never got published! Which just takes away even more mom points and adds to the failure which was Halloween 2010. So 3 months late, I give you...

"How I Failed at Halloween"

This year I officially had to pull a card. The "moms are allowed one or two, or at the most three mess-ups a year" card. I totally failed my kids and definitely made the "Top 5 Worse Halloween Moms" list for sure.


I think my soul died a little when I saw the, "I don't get to dress up as what I really wanted to be for Halloween" looks on my babies faces.


There we were, scouring the one isle left of Halloween costumes at Walmart, 10.31.10. "I want to be a bad princess Mommy, mommy do you see any bad princesses left?" Hailey looked at me with sad eyes. "Mom, I don't see any zombies, or skater punks...." Joshua smile fell. Much like my mom points. Much like my self respect, and much like my own happiness.



I felt like the worst mom EVER.


I waited until HALLO-FREAKING-WEEN to discover that the home-made costumes I had planned, were NOT going to work out.


To top it all off, the $7 make-up we bought to turn Joshua into a flesh eating zombie, really only turned him into a blotchy faced, pitiful excuse for a Halloween costume, because mom is Mrs. Polly Procrastinator. After a frustrating 30 min. of attempting, and completely failing at his make-up I sent Mel to party city to get the costume Joshua originally wanted in the first place.


When he gets there he calls, "They don't have any zombie masks, any zombie costumes, nothing."


"What? Have you asked anyone that works there?"


"They're completely wiped out of everything."


"Well have you asked someone that works there. They've got to have SOMEthing."


"It's 5:00 on HALLOWEEN! They're out of EVERYTHING!"


"Well what DO they have??"


"They have a metal faced motorcycle dude."


"Get that."


So poor Joshua went as a motorcycle dude, because he refused to wear his mask.


Luckily, Hailey decided she'd be okay being "Spidergirl". And while I couldn't provide her with trashy street walker boots, I did give her an awesome prosti-tot makeover with too much mascara and lipstick.


We originally put Leah in a hand-me-down Tigger costume, but it really swallowed her up. So I pulled out Hailey's Piglet costume from her first Halloween, and while it was a little short, it fit.


I solemnly vow to get the BEST costumes that my kids REALLY REALLY want next year the WEEK they go on sale!!!! I will have them thinking about what they want to be MONTHS in advance, and when the time comes we are BUYING their dream costumes as soon as humanly possible.

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