So naturally, I was up all night. Ridden with guilt.
My husband blew every gift he'd ever given me out of the water when he surprised me with the gift of all gifts. An iPad. Now I know that I'm pretty much the last person on earth to own an iPad. I know there are toddlers who are rolling their eyes because even THEY have an iPad. But y'all, this is BIG. This is one of those, "OMG is this real?!" moments for me! I would have been just as shocked and surprised if he had bought me a new car for my birthday. Seriously.
Why? Because an iPad is a LUXURY! It's not something we need! It's not practical, it's not not a necessity! And because we're your average middle class family with four kids, it's EXPENSIVE.
I love it.
I really, really love it. Yesterday I was literally bursting at the seams with excitement and love for it! Now? I just feel guilty. I feel like I have literally robbed my family of 3+ weeks of groceries. And I'm worried! What if something comes up and we need the money?! And I'm scared! What if I drop it and it breaks?!?!
And then on TOP of the guilt I feel even more guilty for feeling guilty in the first place! Why can't I just enjoy this wonderful gift? Why can't I just let myself feel happy and loved? Why can't I just appreciate my husband for making such a big sacrifice just to make me happy? Don't get me wrong, I'm BEYOND grateful and appreciative. It's just so smothered with guilt at the moment that it's hard to see.
One thing is for sure I will never forget how he gave it to me! He handed me a little box and I was convinced it was the Kindle Fire we had talked about here and there. I was really surprised to open it and find Grayson's shoe box inside. Was this...
Yup. That's what you think it is. Get it? Yea, it's an "eye pad".
Yes I married "that" guy. And I'm soooo glad I did! I told him that he was super mean and he brought out this...
Which ended up holding this...
And my heart did a little jig.
1 comments:
I just got an iPad too. I feel the SAME WAY!! You literally took the words right out of my mouth. My first thought was yay, then my brain immediately went into guilt mode.
You know what helps? Apps for the kids. Turns the iPad into a teaching/fun device that everyone can use. I have one for my 8 month old that is called Fish School. She loves it. One for math for my oldest daughter, and a couple for my son too.
It makes baring the guilt a tiny bit easier.
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