Silly Monkey! Breast Milk's for Babies!

Me: I forgot to tell you! I saw a woman breastfeeding a monkey yesterday. On the National Geographic channel.

Melvin: Uh-huh. {Continues to watch television.}

Me: This doesn't fascinate...shock...interest you?

Melvin: No. Not really. Not if it was on the National Geographic channel.

Me: I didn't say it was on a show about some tribe. I mean...it was on a show about a tribe. A tribe in the woods. Or forest, or jungle, or whatever. But I didn't say that. It could have been on Doomsday Preppers. That shows on NGC too you know.

Melvin: {Stares at TV.}

Me: Hello?

Melvin: Oh sorry, I'm watching this.

How can ANYone have someone share with them the AMAZINGLY FASCINATING story of a woman breastfeeding a monkey and not have a MILLION questions? Not share in their enthusiasm?! Not partake in their morbid curiosity?!

I'm baffled.

For those that are DYING to know {as I would be if I were on the receiving end of this information} the woman was feeding her pet. She told the camera, "I have to breastfeed him. Because if I didn't, he would die.". Which I really don't understand, because the men in the tribe were hunting monkeys. And there were a LOT of monkeys. Alive monkeys. Alive monkeys that ate and drank and lived without breast milk from a human person.

(She also added that the monkey doesn't bite, because it's tame. I don't know. That seems a little like playing Russian Roulette with nipples to me...)

I find it fascinating that this woman wasn't kicked out her hut for breastfeeding her monkey. She didn't even receive the slight hint of side eye! And she was feeding an animal. With her boob.And here, where we live, we can't nourish our own CHILDREN without looks of disgust and disapproval.

Maybe I will start a revolution of breastfeeding animals. An idea that's SO incredibly f*cked up, that people will BEG for us to breastfeed our children instead of beasts. And then I won't have anxiety over flashing side boob if my baby is hungry. So if anyone wants to start that revolution...go ahead. I'm good though. Plus, I don't have any pets.