Thirteen Things That Scare the Skiddly-Doo Out of Me
{Zelda} From Pet Semetary. OMG who CARE's about anything else in that movie?! I'm scared of Zelda! And omg now I'm all freaked out. Why did I have to blog about his at night?!
{The Dark} No good reason for that one. I just am. I imagine horrible things that I can't see. Normal shapes, like furniture and such become scary things. (Like Zelda.)
{The Exorcist "Spiderwalk"}Why is that the scariest part of the movie for me? Why?! I don't know...but it's not natural, and it's creepy, and I think one day my my kids are going to come out of their rooms walking like that. Probably after eating a Nerf dart.
{Zombie Kids} I love zombies, but not when they bite my babies, and then my babies become zombies! Because a zombie kiddo=a zombie mama, and I wanna survive the zombie apocalypse with all my kiddo's intact.(That's my attempt at zombiefying Joshua. I'm sure he'll think it's AWESOME.)
{Falling} I am super scared of falling. Therefore I'm scared of heights. And edges. Oh I hate edges. Especially high up edges. But it's just 'cause I'm scared of falling. (Won't catch me skydiving that's for sure!)
{Brown Recluse} I'm not deathly afraid of spiders, but I'm scared of brown recluses! I always inspect each spider I come across closely to see if it's a brown recluse. I would like to keep my flesh right where it is, thank you very much Mr. Spider.
{Great White Sharks} In the ocean, in pools, in bathtubs. If I am in a body of water, I am scared that I am about to be eaten alive at any moment by a man eating great white shark. Don't ever leave me alone in a pool or you'll see a fat white girl walk on water. I draw the line at taking baths by myself.
{The Dead Lady in the Tub on "The Shining"} Speaking of bathtubs, my mother can thank "The Shining" for having to sit in the bathroom while I showered and/or bathed for a period in my life. Hands down, the scariest part of the movie.
(Once again, WHY am I doing this at night?!)
{House Fire} Um, who isn't scared of that? But seriously, I pray for God to protect my home everytime I lock the door. It's a little OCD ritual that I do. I'm pretty sure if I don't pray everytime I lock my door when I leave my house, then I'm going to come home to ashes.
{Morbidly Obese} I'm scared I'm going to keep getting fatter and fatter until I'm so fat that I all I can do when I'm angry is throw plates. Or that they'll have to cut a hole in the side of the house to get me out when I die. Or burn the house down because they didn't want to cut a hole int he side of the house.
{Breaking Down at Night, on a Creepy Road, Without My Cell Phone} If I leave the house and I don't have my cell phone I freak. What if I breakdown?! At NIGHT?! In the DARK!? And I don't have a phone to call for help?! And Zelda and her BFF tub-lady-from-the-shining come "SpiderWalking" out of the woods to bite Joshua so that he's now a zombie, and I'm too morbidly obese to run away, so I walk at a brisk pace, and walk through a brown recluses web, and fall into a puddle and get eaten by a shark?!
{Getting Bitten by An Alligator When Getting In my Car} Sometimes I'll get a sneaking suspicion that an alligator is under my car, and it's going to whip around and bite me in the ankle, severing my akiles tendon, rendering me motionless, and unable to crawl away while it eats me alive. So sometimes I jump in to the car super fast, so that he doesn't have time to take a bite. Not today Mr. Alligator, not today...
So those are some of my fears. I am now off to bed to lay awake, because I'm too scared from having to search for all of these pictures of my fears. I should have just drawn them so that they would be not-so-scary. Maybe I'll do that to kill time one day.
4 comments:
LOL Oh. My. Gosh. I TOTALLY agree about Zelda! I saw that movie when I was younger so, I never even really understood her purpose in the movie. Just that her character freeeaaakked me out! Why was she in it? Did it have anything to do with the story? I should probably watch it again sometime, haha.
And dude.. Spiders are the worst! I'm a little bit.. terrified of them haha. I hadn't even heard of this one before! Thanks for that, by the way.. hehe, kidding. :p
I don't think she really had a point...other then to just be scary? lol I just remember her, and the women telling the story about how she was happy her sister was dead, and she went yelling, "Zelda's dead! Zelda's dead!"...I don't blame her, I would be happy too! lol
the alligator thing made me laugh out loud!! baahaahaaa!!!!!!!!!! the rest i can mostly understand. shining-bathtub-lady. freak me out. and zelda. yeah. scary stuff B!
I tried to comment... it politely declined. It was funny too... dangit.
After the one about the dark I started thinking about things that wig me out while I was waiting for the page to finish loading and literally the first thing that popped in my head was "People moving in unnatural ways... ooh! SPIDER WALK!" and then I scrolled down and there it was. We're like *crosses fingers* THIS!
Post a Comment